PERSONAL SAUNAS, PARENTS, SWINGERS, CHILDHOOD MEMORIES, BLAH, BLAH FUCKING, BLAH
(you can’t say I didn’t warn you)
Only in the good old U.S of A. Tumblings! Well that’s where I started, in reference to the ‘Wonder Sauna Hot Pants’ (in a somewhat envying way, I have to say). This is about my 6th edit and the next bit starts with a but, which is always a worry unless you’re not reading this, in which case you’re safe; nothing to see here, Tumblings, go about your business. If you are silly enough to continue on then then this is it:-
But I do remember, (here she goes y.a.w.n..), as a child growing up in ‘Aotearoa‘ the “Land of the Long White Cloud”, that my folks fancied themselves as trendsetters and were ‘party animals’ of sorts, in their own circle of friends. I think they may even have been ‘swingers’ of a kind, back in the day, in rural Taihape. (Central North Island for those crazy enough to be interested). Good grief just the thought my folk’s social set stripping off their clothes in those familiar lounge rooms and giving each other one up the arse with the strap-on or a ‘double penetration’ drags me kicking and screaming to the brink of hysteria. These terms are only known to me because I make a habit of keeping up with the popular jargon of all kinds of obscure sexual fantasies because ‘you just never know’ (blush).
As a child I used to sit on the end of my mothers bed, as I’m sure all little girls (and boys,hey?!) do at some time, watching her getting ready to party. One outfit, a particularly flashy ‘pantsuit’ sort of arrangement, with lots of floaty see-through panels, also had what was referred to as a ‘tickle hole’, cut low around her volumous ‘bust’ (still the only word I can think of to desribe the spectacular shelf of my mother’s bossom). This seemed quite logical to me as a kid, but now also makes me want to laugh hysterically knowing my mother in the latter stages of her life. She had a huge dressing table (hahahah) with a row of multi-styled and coloured) wigs displayed on those head things, stands with all kinds of beads and glitzy costume jewellery, false eyelashes, exotic jars of perfume and Mary Quant make-up ,which was applied liberally as was the style. Around this same time, my most vivd memory of Mum and Dads parties, was waking in a bed that I was sharing with my sister or that night . We were covered in the coats and scarves of the party guests and I just lay there for a while almost unable to move under the weight, trying to decide if I could be bothered trying to move them somehow so I’d be more comfortable. The music was very loud, but I thought I could hear talking and it seemed to be close, in fact it seemed to be in the same room. I lay quietly trying to sort out the sounds and, yes, there was a voice in the room, two voices, and one of them was my mother, she was laughing and talking softly. There was hardly any light and I squeezed up between sister and the wall and under the coats so I couldn’t turn to the direction of the sound. For some reason I didn’t feel as though I should call out, even though it was my Mum, finally there was a break in the music I identified the other voice as a favourite ‘cousin’ of my Mums, ‘cousin’ Alan; I don’t know how long they stayed in the room, but they must have been very tired because eventually they stopped talking so I assumed they’d fallen asleep on the other bed and in my curiosity I must’ve forgotten that I was uncomfortable and done the same.
Dammit, Tumblings, did I digress? um..Oh yeah- the personal sauna! Mum and Dad had a party, not that last one, but one to to launch a personal sauna that they bought and that ‘cousin’ Alan coincidentally bought one at the same time so he threw it on the back of the ute, and in the end I think there were 3 saunas there that night. They were only meant for one person but that night I’m sure they tried to push them to the limit because I remember a slide night (REAL projector slides Tumblings, what a hoot!) where 2 heads, possibly 3 were poking red and sweaty faced, shiny and grinning out of the top - you sat in the sauna on a stool, in the middle of this round solid structure sort of like a huge barrel and then a soft vinyl cover got pulled up tight round your neck so only your head stuck out..oh- I’ve just found a couple of images on the web that aren’t the same but if they fucked and a terrible lovechild-well you might get a the picture of Mum and Dad’s personal Sauna, then try and forget it!!-
Anyways Tumblings, I can’t QUITE remember where I was going with this- I wanted to post the pic of the sauna pants and then when the memories came tumbling I wanted diarize them because that’s what Tumblr’s about to me most of all. I’m quite happy really if nobody ‘cept me ever reads my Tumblr blog- it’s a record for me and a few people who are close to me (or those silly ones I warned earlier, yes, you know who you are) to occasionally take a peek at here or at my FB or Twitter or wherever. Luv me xoxox
ps as usual I make no apologies for spelling or grammar errors
